Patients: 215
Total in 3 days: 657
Today I spent the first hour in pharmacy then went to the floor to start seeing patients. Wow, I was way more nervous than I thought it would be. I felt very unsure, especially since my rotations to date did not include family med, pediatrics, ER, urgent care. At least I had some internal medicine background. I was praying most of my patients were ortho...or ob/gyn. It didn't help that my first couple of patients were more complicated.
My first patient had a BP of 210/109...not good. Not only that but her blood sugar was 410. Diabetic and hypertensive.... You don't see many diabetes patients like you do in America---they are all not overweight and eating processed foods...
My 2nd patient was an 8 year old boy with typhoid fever.. Not having having pediatrics really didn't make a difference since I'm pretty sure none of my classmates or even PAs for that matter had seen a case. I guess there is a thought around Haiti that if you have TF that they shouldn't drink milk or eat certain foods. This kid was getting dizzy because he was not eating properly. The most we could do was hydrate him and give him an antibiotic.
By the time we started up for lunch, I felt more confident. Working in the pharmacy def helped. I'm sure tomorrow will be even better. A lot of my patients were women with headache, vaginal discharge, and acid reflux/heartburn. My translator kept saying "she has the acid". I did see a couple of arthritis cases.
I have to say, I really just want to be able to make a telephone call, brush my teeth without using my waterbottle, and not wear DEET 40 after I take a shower. Oh yeah, hot water would be nice. Also, flushing after I pee. Also, not hearing a rooster at 3 am. Also, not eating powerbars so I don't pass out. Also, being able to drink water from a facet. Also, not having to wear sandals in the shower. Also being able to blow dry my hair and straighten it. Also to not wear a fannie pack 24/7.... WOW GUESS YOU CAN'T TAKE THE AMERICA OUT OF THE AMERICAN.
Courtney made an interesting comment when we were showering. She said that she would feel guilty about going out for a friends birthday party in Chicago and spending $8 on a drink, especially when most people here are lukcy to make that in a day. Our translators were getting $20 a day and that was alot. That really made me think -- especially since I do enjoy going out to dinner and spending money on a glass of wine or beers. Def makes me want to be a lot more frugal.
Someone from the church group that is also staying here made a comment about how there is a signma in the US about Americans feeling entitled. Entitled for everything... SO TRUE.
I noticed that the Haitians are so well dressed when they come to clinic. Ironed shirts, women in dresses with blazers or sweaters (it's 95 degrees out). The children are in bows and dresses. Some are even wearing like princess halloween costumes. They are so unbelievably grateful that you are able to sit with them, hear their problems, and try to help them out. THIS IS WHY I WANTED TO BE A PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT AND WORK IN HEALTHCARE.
Sitting here now, it looks like I could be on a tropical vacation. The mountains are all lit up, the stars are twinkling and the palm trees sway. The weather is beautiful. From the roof, everything is heavenly. Just a few feet below, the people are sleeping in tents amongst goats, bathing in man made holes of dirty water. Isn't that sometimes we live our life? Keep our head up and look through our rose colored glasses. US may not be a 3rd world country but PLENTY of our citizens are struggling -- without access to the things they need to be healthy and survive in this world -- our world. It just doesn't all sink in yet. I take a benadryl at night just so my thoughts don't race and I can get some sleep.
One thing the Haitians have that I feel like I lack in my life is faith. It's incredible that I have so much in my life but I'm not near as happy as the Haitians are. I feel happy, accomplished, satisfied... I'm not sure the right word... but I know I still want more....I still think things could always be a little better. Maybe I'm a little world of settling or of accepting mediocracy... however... there is a line. Appreciating, smiling, really being happy is something I need to accept from how I feel on the inside. Not judge it on what's happening on the outside. I have my family, school and my career, friends, Jon, Ty-Ty, my independence, my freedom, my apartment, all the places I've been so fortunate to travel to, memories of college and high school, my health, my families health, tons of clothes, shoes, cable, food, a car, SO MUCH. This past year was very, very, very difficult for me. Last summer I had my heart broken TERRIBLY. I was lied to and deceived. I was depressed. I stopped eating. I allowed someone to make me feel like I did something wrong. That I was selfish for going to school and studying and working hard and wanting to have a great career and make money. I allowed someone to tell me lies and make me feel less of person. I allowed myself to be blinded by all the things I was so FORTUNATE to have and focus on this one loss. Sitting here now, I'm so lucky that it happened. It also made me do a lot of soul searching, especially since that person made a lot of comments about my personal character and the fact that I couldn't keep relationships with females. It really hurt me and made me examine who I was as a person, who I was with him, and who I wanted to be. You know, thinking back now, it doesn't need to take a huge moment to happen before you start working on yourself as a person. I can look back now and there are friendships I wish I still had, maybe choices that I wish I would/wouldn't have made.... but i have no regrets. Those are only "what ifs". I'm so, so happy now. There will always be "what ifs". I can only continue to work on me and be proud of who I am.
Much love to family,
Brittany
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